Playing Drums each morning. It feels great. It’s awesome just having fun.
I am also playing with my right leg again since like 3 Month not having really used it because of pain for over 4 years. So that’s awesome.
Drumming its self can be a form of meditation just getting lost in the music, no thinking about am I playing correct, how is my technique, what should I play next….
Step by Step instead of all at once:
As I mentioned before I am doing or always want to do everything at once. I want to build a house in one day just to see clear results. I stop most of the things because I see no results. Mabey because the only result I aspect is just being pain free, and all little successes get ignored immediately when some pain comes back. But who builds a house in one day. Just putting down one stone each day, every day. That’s easy everybody can do that, and after some time the house will be finished with no effort.
Fear and Pain:
Fear is dominating me, the fear of pain and this fear is one of the main sources for chronic pain. The fear of pain every time I start to drum. When is my arm, knee going to hurt again? And yes than most of the times the pain is going to come, because I am waiting for it or because I even expect it. But there are times when I just feel great. Continue reading
I am stopping the 10 week programm. Maybe going to start all over if i feel like it. I am still continuing with the breathing and doing my own cold shower work out.
Yesterday I did like 4 times hot 4 times cold for 30 to 45 sec. The 3. time felt really cool. The skin felt like little needles where in many places but not in a painful way.
Had a good relaxed morning breathing session. No cold shower, going to pause for a few days, body feeling too weak.
I could start the trembling without the exercise. Again most of the time spending in my back. But going more to my shoulders and even up to my neck. I am able to start the trembling in almost every body part at will.
Tai Chi + Drumming:
Drumming session today was good. I need to feel, relax and don’t fear that my arm pain could return during playing, than it goes well.
During Tai Chi I noticed that there was no pain in my arm. So if I am focused in something and don’t really pay attention to my arm there is no pain. This goes with my theory that there is no real pain in my arm and just some events trigger the pain out of pain memory.
The breathing in the morning wasn’t so good. My nose was blocked. I usually suffer from a blocked nose in the morning and a dry throat. But the last days it was less, maybe another effect of the WIM-HOF Method.
Today’s cold shower exercise I pushed to do 2 min each round.
The times: 1:20, 1:38, 1:51 Pushups: 23
The Tai Chi class of today was very good, felt relaxed and at ease.
The letting go exercise went really well. I just focused on feeling and letting it happen. This resulted in a very relaxed feeling.
Improvements I need to make:
I need to work on is my stand during some Tai Chi forms. The peng left stand should be at least feet width apart and there is only a small distance between the back to the front foot. My stand was too wide. I am still struggling to not let my knees fall in, to keep a steady stand. The idea of riding a horse back should help to keep the knees wider apart. Also my knees should not be locked. They should be lightly bend and soft. If something is tense doing Tai Chi, you are doing it wrong. Everything should be loose and easy. My belly needs to be looser. This will also help me to overcome my hollow back.